February 2006 – Matt Simerson

Lawyer Season

Press Release (02/14/06)

The Texas Parks and Wildlife Department issued a statement today saying Vice President Cheney broke no law by shooting a lawyer instead of a quail over the weekend.

A TPWD spokesman noted that in Texas, lawyers are not considered game
creatures, and are thus not subject to seasonal limitations or bag limits.
It was further noted that lawyer-hunting is encouraged as the state is
overrun with them.

A local food critic said that, contrary to rumor, lawyers do not taste like
chicken, but more like the excrement from uncastrated adult male cattle,
which has long been known to be a major component in their composition.

In all seriousness, I have empathy for Cheney. You see, I nearly shot my own father Continue reading “Lawyer Season”

Ol’ Charlie

Does belief in any of Charles Darwin’s theories, such as that the one taught in your child’s school, pose a problem for your faith?

Thank God for Darwin

Churches Celebrate Darwin

If so, why? If not, then what is a proper hermeneutic for reading Genesis?

A nice thing our school does is include an activity fee with our tuition. I’m not speaking in a facetious manner, I actually mean it. For $55 per semester, we get a membership at a gym located a couple blocks from the school. Normal membership costs more than $55 per month so it’s a bargain. It is also one of the nicest fitness center I’ve seen.

Last semester, Kevan (my carpool buddy) and I began going in early to use the gym. They have a wading pool with six lanes and a full length swim pool with eight lanes. After spending a few mornings running on one of the dozens of machines, my knees reminded me how much they detest it so I began spending more time in the pool.

I can swim but it’s anything but graceful. In fact, it’s much like my skiing. I’m wild enough to jump off any double black diamond slope, Continue reading “Making a splash”

Presentation Devices for Mac OS X

One of my esteemed professors needs a remote for use in class. Actually, a couple of my professors are in need of a decent remote for their presentations in class. So, I did some searching around and found a couple good options, listed in order of recommendation.

Choice #1: Kensington Wireless Presentation Remote

All features of the Kensington are known to work reliably with Mac OS X. Simply click the link and it’ll take you to item at the Amazon.com store. If you order by clicking the link, they’ll even give me a little referral credit.

Choice #2: Logitech 2.4GHz Cordless Presenter

two chicks

Last week we saw a hot new chick in the neighborhood and I’ve been trying to get a photo of her ever since. We’ve seen her fly by a few times but yesterday was the first time she held still long enough for us to get a good look, and did we ever. Jen ran for the binoculars and I grabbed the camera and the 400mm telephoto lens.

Lucky for ya’ll, she held still long enough for me to snap a couple candid shots. In addition to the shot above, I also got one of her dropping her drawers to take care of some business. In the interests of moral sensibility, we’re not publishing that one. Today we saw her again, and she was at the top of her game. She was with some guy, and she had her claws sunk deep into him.

And the two were becoming one flesh, literally. We watched for 10 minutes trying to see exactly she had laid her claws into. Unfortunately, she was outside the range of my 400mm lens and our binoculars. Our best guess is: a cat.

And here is the other hot little chick in the neighborhood.