- What types of jokes are allowed during quarantine? Inside jokes!
- I’ll tell you a coronavirus joke now, but you’ll have to wait two weeks to see if you got it.
- Why do they call it the novel coronavirus? It’s a long story….
- Why don’t chefs find coronavirus jokes funny? They’re in bad taste.
- What do you tell yourself when you wake up late for work and realize you have a fever? Self, I so late.
- Let me get this straight, there’s no cure for a virus that can be killed by sanitizer and hand soap?
- Why didn’t the sick guy get the joke? It flu over his head.
- When this virus thing is over with, I still want some of you to stay away from me.
- If these last months have taught us anything, it’s that stupidity travels faster than any virus on the planet, particularly among politicians.
- Wait – you’re telling me that my chance of surviving all this is directly linked to the common sense of others? You’re kidding, right?
- People are scared of getting fined or arrested for congregating in crowds, as if catching a deadly disease and dying a horrible death wasn’t enough of a deterrent.
- If you believe all this will end and we will get back to normal just because we reopen everything, raise your hand. Now slap yourself with it.
- So many coronavirus jokes out there, it’s a pundemic.
- Whoever decided a liquor store is more essential than a hair salon is obviously a bald-headed alcoholic.
- Remember when you were little and all your underwear had the days of the week on them. That would be helpful right now.
- The spread of Covid-19 is based on two factors: 1. How dense the population is and 2. How dense the population is.
- Remember those times when you wished the weekend would last forever? Wish granted. Happy now?
- It may take a village to raise a child, but it’s going to take a vineyard to home school one.
- Did a big load of pajamas so I would have enough clean work clothes for this week.
(some jokes without links blatantly stolen from Dean Forbes post on NextDoor)