Today I ran into a swarm of giant, red crossed mosquitos. They’re a fairly popular variety and appear in waves. I don’t see anything for a couple months and then boom, there’s an entire swarm. They call, they send me postcards, fridge magnets, and when I walk in the door, they swarm around me. They entice me with cookies and flavored beverages. They call me a silent hero. I swear, they’re out to get my blood.
So today I gave them another pint. Maybe it’s because I’m type O Positive (universal donor) that makes them so incessant. They just can’t get enough. Today they invited me to give a “double red” next time. Yeah, that’s right, they aren’t content with just a pint, they want twice as many of my red blood cells next time! I don’t even mind giving them a double tap. What I do mind is that it takes 45 minutes. I can fill a pint in under 6 minutes (average person is 8-12) and get out of there.
I can accept that my blood is the most needed type. A lukemia patient somewhere needs a lot more red blood cells. I understand that, and I’ll help, but where does it end? I give them a pint every couple months and I’ve already offered my organs when I die. What comes after two pints? Do I need to toss in an organ too? Do I get to choose which one I contribute? Have I watched to many Monty Pyton movies?